Jessica Simpson Arrived Stampede

Jessica Simpson and beer commercials: Why hasn't this happened sooner? Jessica, in her first logical career move ever, is going to be the face of new Dallas' Stampede Light Plus, according to the Dallas Morning News.

She's the face of the brand now, said Lawrence Schwartz, Stampede's president and chief executive. Stampede's marketing is focused on its vitamin content, which it describes as functional additives.

Vitamin powered beer?! I had to check this insanity out for myself so I hopped over to Stampede Light's website and holy shit. Apparently, it's the healthy beer for go-getters who hate elevators but love recycling - which I always thought was illegal in Texas. Who knew? That said, somebody get five cases STAT. I'm dangerously low on riboflavin.